Who has not heard such a phrase that the stamp on the passport does not solve anything as well as does not give any guarantees? I agree neither signed contract does not guarantee that it will not be infringed by one of the parties. There are no guarantees in real life -it is changeable and unpredictable.
Lots of people say the absence of the stamp does not influence love. If so, how can the stamp hinder love if it is in the passport? Unfortunately, life shows that it is easier not to put the stamp than to put it.
We do not presume to judge whether it is good or bad. Civil marriage is a diagnosis. A cohabiting woman is not married and a cohabiting man is not married as well. I doubt whether someone will dispute it.
We will explain everything step by step.
Civil marriage is always an indecisive choice (under decision). When a man and a woman live together for a long time and do not marry, that is, do not take the next important step, they seem to say to each other: "I am waiting for better". Bert Hellinger.
1. For our team marriage is a kind of initiation, a ritual. In the past it was a wedding ceremony, today it is a registration in the registry office. And it is very important. Any ritual draws a line - before and after it. It is an event after which a different life begins. Before it, you are a bride and after it, you are a wife. The women's mentality is arranged in such a way that rituals are very important to us. Therefore, any woman dreams of a wedding and a wedding dress.
For example, in the Middle Ages, a man could wear armor but he only became a knight after the knighting ceremony. It was not only a civil act but also a symbolic one which was followed by disguising and swearing an oath. The ceremony lasted for a long time and was very costly for the family of the future knight. But he could not be called a knight without this ritual.
2. Living in an open relationship, young people often do not acquaint their parents with their partners' parents. Thus there is no joining of two families. If young people submit documents to the registry office, their parents usually get acquainted. Everybody feels responsibility not only the newlyweds, but also their parents and relatives. Everybody is aware of the joining of families. In civil marriage, there is no joining.
3. Signing of contracts is connected with fulfilling obligations and bearing responsibility for their infringement by punishment or passing procedures. A stamp is a responsibility. It is the signing of the treaty. You can not leave the registered relationship for no particular reason. You have to go through the procedure of divorce and take responsibility for the fact that the relationship went bad. Only after that, you become a divorced man.
In the case of civil marriage, you remain as free as you have been before. We know a man and a woman who lived in a civil marriage for a long time. When the man decided to leave, he could not summon up his courage and say he was leaving forever. He just left for another woman as a free man. What could be claimed by him as he promised nothing and signed nothing?
Such a situation is impossible in the lawful wedlock. At least, you must have an explanation with your lawful wife and take responsibility for divorce. Every person understands that nothing happens in life for no particular reason – we are responsible for everything and pay for everything.
4. We often hear that people are afraid to legalize their marriage because the stamp will spoil everything. "A stamp in a passport kills all romance." Right, if a person has not decided yet to make a final choice, the stamp will spoil everything. Marriage is threads, chains, if you wish, - it binds. A person feels that he is no longer free and it oppresses him. There is internal resistance to such "captivity". A person becomes not romantic but married.
The relationship goes wrong, and as a result, someone quits. Then he blames the stamp that "killed the romance". The stamp does not kill romance - carelessness and irresponsibility do it.
5. Lots of people lose count of their years and refuse to grow up. Free life gives a sense of youth, or more exactly - youth and carelessness. Marriage and family do not imply such feelings. Women who enter into such relationships encourage carelessness and do not let a man grow up. "Boys cohabit, men create families." Steve Harvey
Sometimes young people say that they want a spectacular ceremony and something grandiose but they do not have money. I do not believe in it at all. Well, you want to "be adults" and "play with family" but you have no money. Then you can save up and wait for some time. No, you want everything at once: to leave your parents and to play with your family. When there is a goal, there are means, and when there is no goal, there are excuses. As a result, we get "adult" married bachelors.
6. Dating can not last forever. The next step in the relationship is the registry office. A bud can not but open eternally. The man must make a responsible decision - I make a choice in favor of this woman. He has to tell his parents and her parents that they are going to join together. Otherwise, he has to leave this woman and go further. A woman sometimes does not allow a man to take this important step, leaving her parents’ house too early.
7. Every man knows subconsciously that he has to marry. If he does not get married, it means he is not ready yet. However, if you are ready, your goals are different. So, he wants to live with a woman but is afraid of marriage? A real man should be responsible for his actions. You should not indulge his cowardice.
In this regard, men are spoiled. Nowadays women are accessible, in any sense, everywhere: in the underground, in transport, and at work. Almost every woman is ready for any relationship. Therefore, if you do not have a clear position on this issue, the man will not have it either. "You see, marriage for some men is in the same category as eating vegetables: you know it is necessary, but in fact, you do not want to do it, because an oily, fatty, salty, juicy hamburger is much tastier." Steve Harvey.
8. A woman often initiates cohabitation. She turns a blind eye to her partner’s feelings and his genuine attitude to her. She meets a man she likes, and she wants to get closer to him, but the man does not make her proposal. Surely, a man is always for everyday comfort and accessible sex, so he agrees to live together. However, he does not agree to get married. Feel the difference, as they say.
Then the woman waits for the proposal, but the man does not make it. Afterward, she convinces herself that the stamp is not important for the family. She thinks she is a wife and he is her husband, although this "husband" is often married to another woman. No matter what she called herself, deep inside she is aware of her uncertain status.
9. We know for sure that if a man meets his woman, he always takes her to the register office. If he does not take you there, it means he waits for another woman. He has not chosen you. Perhaps, this is tough but it's TRUE.
A man by nature is possessive and if he meets a woman and she matches him, then there is no problem with the stamp in the passport. He will insist on this. It's very important to a man to transfer his status to the chosen woman as well as his surname. This does not happen in a civil marriage. Will a man let a woman remain free if he has made the final choice,? Certainly, not.
Every woman wants definiteness in a relationship. It is doubtful whether she wants to be an eternal bride, a friend, or a cohabitant, unless, of course, she is waiting for a better match.
All talks about freedom of choice are not sincere and natural. It is important to find out the truth and finally stop lying, first of all, to yourself. In the end, a woman only allows or does not allow an open relationship, behind which there is still a passionate desire to marry and have a family.
Best regards,
IMS ‘Wife Ukraine’ team
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